You can never tell your partner “I love you” too much, or in too many ways. Hearing those words, “I love you,” and feeling that your partner said them from the heart, can dramatically change the way you feel about yourself, your relationship, and your life. Those words expressed by your partner can make you feel more centered personally and as a couple. But we often feel like we’re not eloquent enough, or that the timing isn’t right. If you have a hard time saying, “I love you” without feeling corny or like you are expressing yourself with hollow-sounding repetition, considering expressing your love without words. Physical expression of love can be just as powerful as verbal expression.
Couples are attracted to each other when they experience together the sensory elements of attraction. Eye contact builds trust. Touch is both exciting and comforting. Even your response to the smell and taste of your partner plays a part in the equation. When all these elements are “compatible,” partners report that their partner is a good kisser or lover. When personality compatibility is also present, couples feel a strong desire to spend one-on-one time together. In their exclusive time together, they use conversation about their deeply held personal values, shared jokes and humor, and the retelling of stories from their past to further deepen their bond. When considering a successful relationship, just as much importance is put on emotional chemistry built through conversations and sharing and physical chemistry. So why not express your love not only verbally but physically as well?
Many believe that men say, “I love you” and feel love from their partner through the sexual act, but women also express their love and feel love from their partner through sex. Every lovemaking session is an opportunity to physically express your love. For example, for both genders, your partner feels love when you try a new sexual technique. Whether or not you perform that sexual technique properly does not matter. The very fact that you care enough to try something new makes your partner feel cared for and special. And if your partner is always the one who initiates sex, or initiates new techniques, you can say, “I love you” by taking control and being the initiator. Even your willingness to make love when you’re tired at the end of a long day is a way to express your love. Expand your expression of love—the verbal “I love you”—to the bedroom for a more fulfilling relationship.
- Ask questions. Initiate a technique that you believe your partner may enjoy. Ask your partner for guidance to both give you the confidence you need to continue to explore and help perfect this new act. Practice a few times a month to perfect the skill needed for true success.
- Be responsive. Pay attention to what your partner enjoys in bed, or think back to a time when you were first dating to remember your best sexual experiences as a couple. Now, incorporate either your partner’s favorite act into your lovemaking or re-create that sexual experience from the past.
- Be verbal and physical. Expressing your love in bed can be a combination of the verbal and physical. Verbally say, “I love you” when you are alone in bed, with no kids, pets, or electronic distractions. Touch and look your partner in the eye when you say these words. This intimate way of saying, “I love you” can give you the centeredness you need to get through a busy day.